The Official Cure for Political Hysteria™
"Finally, a cryptocurrency more stable than political discourse"
Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) is a satirical cryptocurrency project that brings humor and healing to the politically exhausted masses. Built on Ethereum, TDS combines meme culture with legitimate DeFi infrastructure to create a unique community-driven experience.
1B
Total Supply
(That's a lot of tokens!)
$0.0034
Starting Price
(Cheaper than therapy)
Compliant
KYC/AML
(Sadly necessary)
Political discourse has become increasingly toxic, with both sides exhibiting symptoms of what some call "derangement syndrome." Social media amplifies outrage, traditional therapy is expensive, and the internet desperately needs a way to laugh at itself.
💊 Traditional Treatment Costs: $200/hour for therapy, $50/month for anxiety meds, priceless damage to family relationships at Thanksgiving.
🪙 TDS Token Treatment: $0.0034 per token. Side effects include laughing at politicians and not caring about Twitter drama.
TDS Token isn't just another meme coin—it's a fully-featured DeFi project with real utility, satirical messaging, and a community focused on bringing levity to politics.
Interactive features helping users "recover" from political stress through humor and community. Think of it as therapy, but with more memes and less judgment.
⚠️ Not actual medical advice. If you're truly struggling, please see a real therapist. We're just here for the lols.
Earn 5-10% commission by spreading the cure. Multi-tier rewards for active community members. It's not a pyramid scheme—it's a triangle-shaped opportunity! 📐
✨ Pro tip: Your politically obsessed friends are your best prospects.
Early supporters receive up to 20% bonus tokens and priority access to special features.
🎩 Be part of the elite. The cool kids table. The VIP section. You get the idea.
Token holders vote on future features, meme contests, and charitable initiatives.
🗳️ Democracy! But for crypto! With way less arguing! (We hope)
Fun Fact: Our team allocation (15%) is smaller than the amount of time Americans spend arguing about politics on social media (47% of their day, according to a study we just made up).
Price
$0.0034
Allocation
100M TDS
Bonus
Up to 20%
Status
Whitelist Only
Price
$0.0037
Allocation
200M TDS
Bonus
Up to 10%
Status
Approved Members
Price
$0.0041
Allocation
300M TDS
Bonus
No Bonus
Status
Open to All
📈 "I should have bought Bitcoin at $1" - Everyone, 2021
Don't let TDS be your next regret! (But seriously, this isn't financial advice)
No KYC Required. Pure chaos—ape in freely. For small purchases under $3,000 USD equivalent.
💚 This is the "I'm just here for the memes" tier. Grab your tokens and go wild.
Basic KYC Required. U.S. Travel Rule compliance. Quick ID verification takes minutes, keeps regulators mildly chill.
⚠️ The "I'm getting serious about this" tier. Upload a selfie, prove you're not a bot. Takes 5 minutes, prevents 5 years in prison.
Enhanced KYC Required. Enhanced review and possible reporting (CTR/SAR). Big bags = big scrutiny. Full identity verification and source of funds documentation.
🚨 The "whale alert" tier. We need to know your mother's maiden name, your first pet's birthday, and whether you prefer thin or thick crust pizza. (Okay, not the pizza part, but you get the idea.)
The TDS project is built by a team of developers, marketers, and political satirists who've had enough of the outrage cycle. While we maintain a degree of anonymity (because, well, politics), our commitment to the project is evidenced by our locked tokens and transparent development.
🎭"Are you really anonymous?"
Let's just say we're as anonymous as everyone on Twitter claiming to be a "political expert." We exist, we're here, and we're probably closer than you think. 👀
Rumored Team Members Include:
• That guy who always posts political rants at 3 AM
• Someone who definitely failed poli-sci but watched The West Wing twice
• A blockchain developer who's tired of "serious" projects
• Your uncle at Thanksgiving (citation needed)
• Definitely not any actual politicians (we have standards)
Experienced Solidity developers with backgrounds in DeFi and NFT projects. They've seen things. Terrible things. Like $69,420 gas fees.
Crypto marketing specialists with successful meme coin launches. Masters of the art of viral tweets and "wen moon?" responses.
Legal and compliance experts ensuring regulatory adherence. The fun police. The party poopers. The reason we can't promise you'll get rich. But hey, they keep us out of jail! 👮
1. Not Financial Advice: Nothing in this litepaper constitutes financial, investment, legal, or tax advice. Consult your own professional advisors before making any investment decisions.
2. High Risk Investment: Cryptocurrency investments are highly speculative and carry substantial risk. You may lose your entire investment. Only invest what you can afford to lose completely.
3. Not a Security: TDS tokens are utility tokens, not securities. They are not registered with any securities regulator and should not be considered an investment in securities.
4. No Guarantees: We make no promises, guarantees, or representations about future token value, exchange listings, or project success. Past performance does not indicate future results.
5. Regulatory Uncertainty: Cryptocurrency regulations are evolving and unclear in many jurisdictions. Future regulatory actions could adversely affect the project.
6. Geographic Restrictions: TDS tokens may not be offered, sold, or transferred to residents of certain jurisdictions including but not limited to the United States, China, and sanctioned countries. Check your local laws.
7. Age Requirement: You must be at least 18 years old (or the age of majority in your jurisdiction) to participate in the token sale.
8. Smart Contract Risks: While audited, smart contracts may contain unknown bugs or vulnerabilities. No code is guaranteed to be error-free.
9. Satirical Nature: This project is satirical in nature. Do not take any political commentary as serious advice or endorsement.
10. No Partnership: References to any persons, organizations, or entities are for satirical purposes only and do not imply endorsement, partnership, or affiliation.
© 2024 Trump Derangement Syndrome Token. All rights reserved.
This litepaper is subject to updates. Always refer to the latest version on our website.
😎Made with sarcasm, questionable judgment, and an unhealthy amount of caffeine.
No politicians were harmed in the making of this token. Some feelings may have been hurt.